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21-11-2024
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Seminars and Lectures abroad – Australia – The third Journey - Lesson (24-25) – Raising children in foreign countries – Questions and Answers
   
 
 
In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful  
 

Forward:

 Our dear listeners, we would like on "The voice of Islam" radio station to continue our morning program. We are honored and pleased to welcome Dr. Mohammad Rateb Al-Nabulsi this morning, and we are sad that this is our last meeting with him. Welcome Dr. Rateb.

 Dr. Rateb: Hope we can meet in other occasions, insha' Allah (if Allah wills).

 Interviewer: Insha' Allah. In fact, Sydney and Australia is blessed with you and your wife, and we hope that we can see you frequently in the future. Dr. Rateb, today we will give the chance for the brother and sisters to ask questions in this program, insha' Allah, but first I would like to ask a question about raising children. We all know that a long series of lectures were broadcasted on "The voice of Islam" radio station many times. It is an important series about raising children in Islam. I had the chance to listen to an interview done by our colleague Anwar on this radio station, in which you tackled this topic, but I have a question in that regard.

 In the old days, raising children depends a lot on the parents and school, but nowadays we are in the era of technology and satellites. Thus, children receive their education from the street and from TV which contains a huge number of channels including the ones that address kids. The child's mind is clear, and so it is easily affected by the surrounding environment, and this is manifested in his education and dealings with sh3er. We, as Muslims, are keen on having a Muslim generation without confused minds, so how can I raise my child amidst all these surrounding factors?

Allah will not burden a person beyond his scope:

  Dr. Rateb: In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, and blessings and peace be upon our Master, Prophet Muhammad, the Truthful and the Faithful, his purified Family and his Companions, the trustees of his Message and the leaders of his armies, and be pleased with them and us, O Lord of the Worlds.

 Dear sister, may Allah reward you abundantly. There is a basic fact in this topic, from which we may start our discussion. Is it reasonable to say, "I can't do this?" The divine respond to this question is, "Allah will not burden a person beyond his scope". Allah is the Creator, the All-Aware and the All-Knowing, Who knows that we are able to do what we are Divinely assigned, otherwise we will not be held responsible for not applying it. Hence, the essential doctorial fact is that Allah will not burden a person beyond his scope, and Mulsims are supposed to apply Allah's Orders wherever they are. This leads us to the second fact which is that when we think there is someothing (Allah's Orders) which we can't do as it is beyond our scope, then this means that we simply don't want to do it.

 Interviewer: Does that mean we are to blame for being negligent?!

Man should leave whatever country which prevents him from worshipping Allah:


  Dr. Rateb: Absolutely! Let me refer to the third fact. When someone travels to Paris in order to have a doctorate degree, for example, studying will be the only reason for his existence in this huge city, where there are universities, nightclubs, movie theatres, theaters, brothels, deviated streets, civilized places and parks. Hence, unless I am admitted to the university, staying in Paris will be meaningless. What I want to say is that if someone lives in a country where he can't fulfill the purpose of his existence, he is required to leave it. The purpose of my existence in the worldly life is to worship Allah, so I am supposed to leave the place which prevents me from fulfilling this purpose and get back to my home country. This is the third fact.

 The three facts are: (1) Allah will not burden us beyond our scope, (2) so whatever we assume is difficult to accomplish is in fact the very thing we are not willing to do, (3) and whatever environment (city or country) prevents me from obeying Allah (which is the reason behind my existence in life) should be left. The problem lies in the weakness of faith (people don't implement Allah's Orders). The Almighty Allah says:

﴾ He who emigrates (from his home) in the Cause of Allah, will find on earth many dwelling places and plenty to live by.﴿

[An-Nisa', 100]

Consider this Hadith:

 I know very famous doctors who used to live in America and Europe. Most of them were convinced that they had to go back to their home countries regardless of the huge gap between the East and the West. They favored obeying Allah and saving their children and their religion over staying in the West. As a result, Allah gave them in their home countries more (bounties) than what they had expected:

﴾ He who emigrates (from his home) in the Cause of Allah, will find on earth many dwelling places and plenty to live by.﴿

[An-Nisa', 100]

 "Moraghaman" in the Arabic Ayah means approving to those who criticize him when he intends to immigrate to another country to worship Allah that Allah will give him many of His Bounties. "Wasi'a" means many dwelling places and plenty to live by. All affairs are in the Hand of the Almighty Allah, but the problem is that people forget this fact due to their weak faith. I know many stories about people who got back to their home country. Most notable doctors in Damascus attend my lectures, and I meet hundreds of them in special occasions. All these doctors used to live in the West an extravagance life, but because they feared to lose their sons, the future of their daughters and their households, they preferred to go back to a developing country and leave the developed one. In return, Allah gave them better life than the one they abandoned, and this is the Divine Reward to their sacrifice. In other words:

((Whoever abandons something merely for the sake of Allah, will in return receive things from Allah serving him in his religion and in the Hereafter.))

[AlJame' As-Sagheer, by Ibn Umar]

  The Prophet, peace be upon him, said:

((You will not abandon something for the Sake of Allah, unless Allah replaces it with something, that is better than that, for you))

[Sahih narrated by Ahmad by Abi Qatadah and Abi Ad-Dahma']

 This is a rule, and it is all about having a deep belief in Allah's Ayat and the Prophetic Sunnah.  Allah the Greatest Lord will grant you blessings which you weren't granted abroad when you willingly leave the luxurious life there, where you can fetch the impossible immediately, in order to save your children's religion. You will definitely find a better life in the new place which you chose to live in seeking Allah's Satisfaction.

Man is keen on the safety, the perfection and the continuity of his existence:

  Few years ago, a well-known greatest surgeon who used to be in Germany visited me. He said, "My little daughter is 10, and I was shocked when she started to say, 'You are backward, and you are so and so'. I wondered what she meant by 'You'. She was taught at school to say these words, and when I went to her school and met her teacher, she said, "Well, this is the truth. You (Arabs and Muslims) are backward, and I mean it." The doctor went on saying, "My daughter who is a part of my heart separated from us psychologically; she had her own world." He decided to go back to Damascus, and he said, "By Allah, about five years passed and till now she keeps say, "You are so and so." She is not his own daughter any more, for she lives in a different world from his. Losing the children is a serious problem. Who is not so keen on bringing up his children in order to be his continuity in life?

 Once I offered my condolence in Omayyad Masjid for the death of the Masjid's Khateeb who was a notable scholar and a close friend of mine, and what caught my attention was that on the third day his son delivered a speech using the style of his father; he just looked like his father while he was talking. I wept upon listening to him and said to myself, "The father didn't actually die". As a human being, I am keen on the safety, perfectness and continuity of my existence. The safety of my existence is fulfilled by obeying Allah and by abstaining from committing sins such as accepting Haram money, oppressing other people or having Haram affairs. As long as I am upright, I will be on the safe side. However, safety is something different from happiness. Being safe means that I have no problems, I am not wanted to authorities and I am not afflicted with any intractable disease. Longing to have happiness beside safety, entails offering good deeds, so the safety of my existence is achieved by being righteous, the happiness is achieved by offering good deeds, whereas the continuity of my existence is achieved by my offspring:

﴾And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their offspring, and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything.﴿

[At-Tur, 21]

 This means to them shall we join their offspring's deeds.

Losing the Hereafter is man's biggest loss:

  When someone is seeking the worldly life, he won't have any problem if he stays in these countries, for the worldly life is more appealing in these countries than ours, but if he knows for certain that he is created for the Hereafter, and that he will lose it (as long as he stays in these countries), then:

﴾"The losers are those who will lose themselves and their families on the Day of Resurrection. ﴿

[Az-Zumar, 15]

 The biggest loss at all is to lose the Hereafter.

 Interviewer: What you are saying is really serious.

Defining the everlasting:

  Dr. Rateb: What is the everlasting? It is hard to define, but to give you an idea about the impossibility of defining it let us put number one here and add one zero every millimeter starting from this point till we reach the wall, then from here to the North Pole, and then to the sun which is 156 million Kilometers away. After that if we write the figure on the top of a fraction, and on the bottom of this fraction we put infinity, the result will be zero, and the same goes for the worldly life. If someone owns billions of dollars, lives in one hundred mansions, rides one thousand cars, owns one hundred planes and has an extremely huge wealth, all that equal zero comparing to the Hereafter (which is infinite). Accordingly, he, who loses the Hereafter, is a fool and even insane.

The fool is the one who loses his Hereafter:

  Man lives his present (the worldly life only), forgetting about the fact that one day when he may have a serious disease in his heart which makes his health condition crucial. What hurts people (particularly those who are on deathbed) most is realizing that they were living in the moment. You may meet someone who says to you, "I own a house, I have a wife, I have children, I have income, I go for picnics, I have meetings, I hold banquets, I travel and I go touring", so such a person lives his moment, and he never gives a thought to the most serious event awaiting him, which is leaving the worldly life. When man dies, he leaves behind the 200 square meter house, which has five or six rooms and is full of sons, daughters, sons in law and daughters in law, the banquets, the visits, the parties and the touring, and he moves to a grave. All the pleasures he enjoys in the worldly life end the minute man's heart stops beating, but what is after death?

 Let me assure you –and I mean what I say- that there is barely one person, out of thousand ones, who thinks about what awaits him after death. People live their moment which is the most foolish thing man is trapped in. Man should always ask himself, "What is waiting for me after death?"

 I visited a house in Damascus which worth 200 million, while the maximum price for houses there is about 10 or 15 millions. This house is 400 square meters, it has views from all directions and it was extravagantly built. Its owner died, so on the day of burial – glory be to Allah and due to Divine Wisdom- there were black sewage water filling the grave, and there was no way to remove it. Those who were supposed to bury him asked his son what to do, and He said, "Bury him. We can't do anything." I know the deceased personally, and I know his house and his stylish life, but he left this sort of luxurious life with the enjoyments and the high class meetings behind to be buried in the grave which was full of sewage water. The moral lesson of this story is that when someone lives in the moment only, he will not care about the future, but he who lives the future will know that death is awaiting him. I visited some houses in America which are beyond imagination. They are luxurious, huge and fully loaded with all sorts of entertainments, but when I asked them, "Do you die in this country?" They said, "Of course" to which I said, "Well, then you know that one day all this luxury will be over."

﴾Say: "Short is the enjoyment of this world.﴿

[An-Nisa', 77]

 The Creator of universes advises you:

﴾Say: "Short is the enjoyment of this world.﴿

[An-Nisa', 77]

 The compensation is prepared by Allah for us in a Paradise with ongoing bliss:

﴾Say: "Short is the enjoyment of this world.﴿

[An-Nisa', 77]

 Interviewer: You know Dr. Rateb that most people who are listening to us deep inside they are not satisfied with living in these countries because of certain reasons in addition to their worry about their kids. Nevertheless, they are obliged to stay in here for particular reasons some of which are political…etc, and going back home is not an option for them, so they are trying to raise their children properly, and they are trying to teach them Quran, the best morals and the Islamic teachings, but in this society there are unacceptable things like sexual perversity which prevails all over Europe, and which starts to invade Arab's countries. Suppose that while I am shopping with my children, they see two men kissing, how can I explain this to my children? This is against Shari'ah and against Islam.

The Islamic method meets man's needs:

  Dr. Rateb: It is Also against Fitrah (human nature).

 Interviewer: Yes, it is against Fitrah, so what should I do?

 Dr. Rateb: Fornication is against Shari'ah, whereas homosexuality is against Fitrah. Fitrah is one thing and Shari'ah is another. Homosexuality is the most serious morally deviated relationship, and it is a big problem. I would like to say to the dear listeners that assuming that some people practise homosexuality because of their genes is merely a groundless big delusion, and a ridiculous idea. This whole thing was proved wrong few days before the end of Bush's (the father of George W. Bush) term in office, when the human genome was published as the greatest breakthrough ever. The genome tells you where every gene is located and what its dimensions are.

 I remember a word I heard from him, he said, "There is no relation between behavior and the genome." When a pervert claims that his corruption is due to his genes, we say, "You are a liar and science proves you wrong, doesn't it?" Bush (the father of George W. Bush) said, "There is no relation between behavior and the genome." Let me say this loud: Whoever claims that his sexual perversion is out of his nature is absolutely wrong, because in that case there will be no need for the religion at all. Is it rational that Allah creates abnormal genes and then punishes the person who has them by sending him to the Hellfire? Would Allah have been deserved to be worshipped had this delusion been proven right? This delusion can never ever be right, and the truth is that when the perversion of someone becomes a habitual activity, he will be more familiar with it than the normal situation, and the problem lies therein. Hence, it is all about awareness, and the crisis of the people of the Hellfire is lacking awareness, the proof is in the following Ayah:

﴾And they will say: "Had we but listened or used our intelligence, we would not have been among the dwellers of the blazing Fire!"﴿

[Al-Mulk, 10]

 Man is molded to love his existence and the perfection, safety and continuity of his existence which are fulfilled by obeying Allah. Not to mention that the Islamic method meets the needs of man; through it man can fulfill the purpose of his existence and the perfection, safety and continuity of his existence.

The son is part of the father who should take care of him:

  I always say that the graphic line of the believer is continuously ascending and death is only a dot on the line which keeps moving up, whereas the graphic line of the people of the worldly life is a sudden ascending line, and death is the peak of it followed by a sudden horrible descending. Thus, the believer's line keeps going up eternally even after his death, and this is an extremely important issue.

 I am deeply hurt when I see the violations ( of Islamic limits) committed by the Islamic Community. I can see how the children are deviated from Allah's Path, they don't t offer Salah and they have no idea about Allah at all. By Allah, parents in the Islamic Community are surprised to such an extent that they even forget their mother's breast milk when they know the violations of their children. Our children are part of us and they are our continuity, so what should we do (if we discover that our children are gays)?

 Once I was in Melbourne, and when I was about to leave it the President of the Islamic Community, come to me to say his farewell, and he wept while doing that and said, "Please tell our brother in Damascus that the dumps of it are better than the Australian paradise", I said, "Why are you saying this?" He answered, "Because in Damascus you have control over your son, and so you can make sure that he will not be morally deviated, but here in Australia most likely he will become gay or a pervert son."

 Interviewer: Is that because parents are careless in the first place?

The difference between the East and the West:

  Dr. Rateb: Absolutely! I used to joke with our brother in Damascus saying that when you cook rice pudding in a big pot and you pour it what will be left in the pot? Charred, black, cooked-on milk will be left in the bottom of the pot which is in one way or another is similar to the minimum of morals we still have in our country. For instance, we still have a sense of honor, a sense of familial faithfulness, a sense of respect to the family members; the mother, the wife, the daughter are all respected according to their familial position, a sense of sincerity to the colleagues and the friends and a minimum level of good deeds, shyness and manhood. I was in a street in America which consisted of 100 apartments, and upon asking our brother in America to tell me about the percentage of betrayal in those 100 apartments, they said it would be about 70%.

 By Allah, in Damascus you can't even find one percent of betrayed spouses, so the situation is extremely different from the Western countries. Though the West is beautiful on the retina and it looks like paradise, according to the brain it is Hell. The West is really fascinating; it is full of trees, plants and roses, as the rainfall rate is about 1000 millimeters sometimes, while it is about 200 millimeters in our home country. These countries are beautiful and they have comfortable laws and the rulers do their best to serve their people.

 Interviewer: We still have the other part of the question which is about how the parents should deal with their children upon seeing homosexuality practised publically. The child who is raised according to the Islamic teachings, and he is at the age of puppetry, he knows that homosexuality is a deviation from Fitrah, and man whether he is Muslim of not knows that this is called homosexuality, but what about the little child (who has not reached puberty yet), how can I deal with the little child after seeing such a deviation from Fitrah?

Raising children in the West needs huge effort:

  Dr. Rateb: Let me be precise and scientific, and let me avoid exaggeration, which is a big mistake. It is not impossible to raise our children properly in these countries, but this needs tremendous efforts, but it is possible to do that. When I was in America, I came out with the following result: 3% of parents have highly raised children. Those children memorized the Quran, they are righteous, upright, pious, etc. Those parents are 3%, so it is not impossible to have children raised properly (according to the Islamic teachings), but the efforts needed are huge. Let me clarify this point: Sciences have changed a lot; they were describable, but they have become measureable. For example, in olden days whoever lived next to the airport used to say, "There is unbearable noise from the taking off and landing planes", but now we can measure the noise with decibels by a special device, so now engineers say to you: "A landing plane or a taking off plane makes 120 decibels, whereas man can bear 50 decibels only and will annoyed by the higher rates. Thus, science was describable and now it is measureable.

 Concerning the efforts to raise the children properly, if there is a unit to measure these efforts like the decibels for example, I can say that in the backward Middle East, which suffers a lot, you need 100 units to raise and educate them, but in the West you need one million units, so it is not impossible, and it is so wrong to use the word impossible. Some people can't go back to their home country and one of them might have his excuses before the Almighty Allah, but why don't they pay the needed effort? The father should spend an hour at least every day with his children in order to teach them, check their friends, instruct them properly, turns their house into paradise and make them like home. This is possible, and be sure that whatever decision you make about your destiny (such as raising your children properly) is less likely to be destroyed by the time as long as this decision is stemmed from faith and strong will.

The utmost happiness is having your son as you want him to be:

  One of our teachers at the university was brought up in a village in Aleppo. When he was young, he was very poor and did not even have the money to move from his village to Aleppo by a vehicle, so he used to hang on the back of pickups. He worked in a restaurant for a wage of one daily meal, but as years passed, he became the Head of Damascus University. Hence, the decision you make about your destiny is less likely to be destroyed by the time if this decision is based on faith and strong will.

 If someone puts his efforts in raising his children and works hard on that, he can make his children Awliyah (pious men) even in Australia. This result can only be achieved by intensive and hard working, so it is foolishness and idiocy to expect amazing results by giving little effort. No way! You, as a father, can't achieve this if you are busy with your parties, meetings and job which starts early in the morning when the children are asleep and ends late at night when they are asleep too. How can you ask how your children are since you are a careless father? They will be an easy prey for deviation, so you should dedicate an hour or more to sit with them daily, keep an eye on their actions, stills and friends and listen to the issues they raise and the ideas they express. Raising kids is a big responsibility, and having your children as you want them to be is the utmost source of happiness to parents. Allah says:

﴾"Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun."﴿

[Al-Furqan, 74]

 Having good, pious, upright, chaste and shy children whom the parents got them married, makes the parent's happiness beyond description. The results of raising one's children properly are incredibly positive. Good children are called in the Quran "comfort of our eyes"

﴾"Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun."﴿

[Al-Furqan, 74]

 A father told me in Damascus, "By Allah, if my son is run over by a car I will celebrate the occasion by Mawlid", though the son is part of the father and he is his shade. You asked me to discuss one of the most serious issues in Western countries. The houses in America are beyond imagination, the ceiling might be 20 meters high just to fit aspects of luxury, and you can find an indoor international heated filtered swimming pool. However, you can feel the gloomy atmosphere in such a house as result of losing the son, who is separated from his parents (he has his own interests and own world), and so he become gay. The brother (the President of the Islamic Community) in Melbourne told me that the possibility to have your son gay is 50%, but in America it is 90%. This issue is really crucial and decisive.

Raising children needs faith:

  I reffered earlier to the second issue which I would like to mention again, and it has to do with man's faith. This great Lord watches you and knows that because you care about your children's faith and uprightness, you decide to go back to your home country where you will be faced with difficulties. Consequently, Allah will alleviate your pain and facilitate things for you. You will notice the huge difference between the Western country you live in and your home country. Yet, you decide to leave that easy life in there and get back to the hard one:

﴾He who emigrates (from his home) in the Cause of Allah, will find on earth many dwelling places and plenty to live by.﴿

[An-Nisa', 100]

 The results will be satisfactory, but all man needs is faith, because whose faith is weak will not leave the Western country where he is comfortable, and if his son becomes deviated he will simply say, "What can I do for him?" He neglects his responsibilities as a father.

 Interviewer: Can we be frank with our children when we tell them, for instance that it is wrong to have an affair between a man and a woman outside the framework of marriage, or to have a homosexual relation?

Use a civilized style in warning your child:

  Dr. Rateb: No problem with that.

 Interviewer: Does Islam put limits in explain these things?

 Dr. Rateb: Of course, listen to the uplifted Quranic style in mentioning these things:

﴾And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)* Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame;﴿

[Al-Mu'minun, 5-6]

  Listen to this Ayah:

﴾But whoever seeks beyond that﴿

[Al-Mu'minun, 7]

 It denotes all sorts of perversions without insulting the innocence of the child who reads the Ayah. Here is another Ayah:

﴾or you have been in contact with women (by sexual relations) ﴿

[An-Nisa', 43]

 The child understands that it is a reference to shaking hands between the man and the woman (who are not Maharem: The relatives of the man of the woman who cannot get married to them).

 Interviewer: Yes.

 Dr. Rateb: The Quranic style is outstanding, and our religion is polite, so people make a mistake when they say that "There must be no shyness in religious issues"! Islam is polite and one can say everything using an uplifted style. Thus, my answer to you is: Yes you can draw the attention of your children to these issues.

 Interviewer: I asked you about that, because some parents think that it is impolite to bring that to our children's attention or to tell them about these matters in a way that fit their age.

 Dr. Rateb: The father can talk to his son and the mother can talk to her daughter, for it is hard to be the other way round. At a certain age, the son and the daughter are in dire need of understanding certain things, particularly the prohibited ones (in Islam).

Questions and answers:

  Interviewer: Dr. Rateb, now we will have an open line to receive the listeners' questions. Here is the first call. Assalamu Alaikum dear brother.

 The 1st caller: Assalamu Alaikum

 Interviewer: Wa Alaikum Assalam.

 The caller: How are you Dr. Rateb?

 Interviewer: Dr. Rateb can you hear him?

 Dr. Rateb: No I can't!

 Interviewer: Bear with me a second dear brother, now is it clear?

 Dr. Rateb: No I can't hear anything.

 Interviewer: Repeat your question please. Ask your question again because Dr. Rateb couldn't hear you.

 The caller: My question is about the timing of Eid. Sometimes not all Muslim countries celebrate Eid on the same day as some of them celebrate this day depending on seeing the new moon with the bare eye, while sh3er follow the calendar, but my question is about Eid ul-Adha specifically: If the authorities in Saudi Arabia say that Arafah day is today and tomorrow is Eid ul-Adha, can any Muslim no matter where he lives refuse that saying, "We are not obliged to follow Saudi Arabia?"

Arguments and non-commitment about Arafah day is a stigma in this Ummah:

 Dr. Rateb: I can't believe what I am hearing! If Arafah day is proved by an Isalmic country, why shouldn't I follow it? Denying this is considered self-centered evil trend. Sowing dissension between Muslims is a serious problem. By Allah, I consider it a stigma in this Ummah. Confirming the first day of Eid ul-Fitr or Eid ul-Adha is just like a small stone in a hundred story building (Islam structure), so it is a very trivial matter. Is it acceptable that we split as Muslims because of deciding the first day of Eid or Siyam? I don't believe that there are Muslims in the world who can go that far!

 The caller: May Allah reward you Dr. Rateb. Assalamu Alaikum.

 Interviewer: Wa Alaikum Assalam

 The 2nd caller: Assalamu Alaikum

 Interviewer: Wa Alaikum Assalam. Please go ahead brother you are on air?

Thanking Dr. Rateb for raising the awareness of parents in the West:

  The caller: First, I would like to thank sister Rania for raising the issue of raising children, which is essential, and I would like to thank our beloved Dr. Rateb who is so dear to our hearts and eyes. I am saying this from the bottom of my heart, and I ask your forgiveness if I couldn't use the right words to express my appreciation. Dr. Rateb has put his finger on our wound as if he knew what is inside my heart. I intend to leave this country to move to an Arab country where my children will be safe, they can learn the Arabic language and they can learn Islam.

 We immigrated to this country for money which worth nothing, and for that purpose we lost our children, so what kind of success we achieved?! I thank you my dear Dr. Rateb for saying all these things about raising our children, and no scholar before you raised those issues. In fact, we lost our children, and if only you know the reality we live, you may weep. I don't know what to say. Some of our sons converted to Christianity and some of our daughters are married to Christians. The religion before Allah is Islam, so no other religion is accepted by the Almighty Allah. I would like to thank the brother who said to you that the dumps of Damascus or any other Arab country are better than the paradise of Australia, and may Allah reward him for that and I love him and you for the sake of Allah. I admire this radio station which spreads the word of truth, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, O Lord protect the believers' children.

 I am a math teacher, and I teach this subject to Muslims in different Masajid in order to pass with it some of Islamic teachings to Muslim children. I went once to a Muslim house, the parents are Arabs and they speak Arabic, but the son doesn't speak Arabic at all. I asked the father how would he understand, but he said, "Just teach him math and nothing else." Imagine he can't speak Arabic!

 Woe to us woe to us, what have we done to our language? One last word if you may allow me Dr. Rateb, I hope that your lectures are translated into English, because the number of Muslims who speak English in this country is more than those who know Arabic. My wife for example, attended your lecture in the City Center, but she didn't understand a word of what you said, so I said to her, "You go first then I will translate to you what Dr. Rateb said". The lecture she wanted to attend was about the obedience of the wife to her husband …etc. Your lectures are valuable, may Allah reward you abundantly and grant you the highest rank in Paradise with Al-Mustafa (Muhammad, peace be upon him) in return for what you are doing. May Allah give you the long life in order to serve this religion, and Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatu Allah wa Barakatoh.

The bitter truth is better than the comfortable delusion:

  Dr. Rateb: I was once in America to attend MAYA (Muslim Arab Youth Association) Conference, which is one of the biggest Islamic conferences in the Muslim world, and it was held in LA. Dr. Qaradawi delivered a speech in it, and he said, "If you can't guarantee that the son of your grandson will be a Muslim in this country, you shouldn't stay in it". I liked his outstanding words. After a period of time, a medical conference was held in Damascus which was attended by 100 boarded certified doctors. One of them invited me to his daughter's wedding which took place in that conference, so I delivered a speech in which I quoted Dr. Qaradawi's words, "If you can't guarantee that the son of your grandson will be a Muslim in this country, you shouldn't stay in it". A doctor approached me with tears on his cheeks, so I was moved. He said to me, "Do you really mean the son of my grandson?"I answered, "Yes, I did, and that was what Shaikh Qaradawi said". Then, he said, "My son is Christian, so I don't need the son of my grandson."

 It will be a serious problem if man risks his Hereafter or Paradise, and for what? By Allah, we have everything in our country, so please don't exaggerate. If man is submitted to the Almighty Allah and aimed at pleasing Him, do you think Allah will not grant him prosperity? Do you think Allah will not honor him? Impossible! I feel that our brother in Australia are embarrassed whenever I raise the issue of raising children, but the bitter truth is better than the comfortable delusion. I can relieve you by forgetting about bringing this issue up to you, but I wish you what I wish myself. What I am saying about raising children in this country s doesn't mean that in our home countries children will be perfect. No definitely this is not true, because if you neglect your children in our countries they will be corrupted. Thus, let me make my words clearer to you: Raising our children in our home countries is much easier than in here, but neglecting your children over there also will make them corrupted Muslims. Hence, I am asking all parents to raise their children well and if one of you (expatriates) is obliged to stay in here, then he should take care of his children as much as he can.

 Interviewer: May Allah bless you. We have another call: Assalamu Alaikum

 The 3rd caller: Wa Alaikum Assalam, how are you sister Rania?

 Interviewer: Very well Alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah)

 The caller: Assalamu Alaikum Dr. Rateb.

 Dr. Rateb: Wa Alaikum Assalam you are welcome.

 The caller: My question is not related to the topic of raising children, so may I ask it?

 Dr. Rateb: Go ahead.

 The caller: Dr. Rateb can one of us to open a new restaurant in which he sells non-Halal food to non-Muslims? I mean is it acceptable in Shari'ah?
  Can someone open a restaurant in which he sells non-Halal food for non-Muslims?
  Dr. Rateb: Will you define "not Halal food" to me please?

 The caller: Not Halal, like selling pork, or selling meat that is not slaughtered according to the Islamic way.

 Dr. Rateb: Pork?

 The caller: Dr. Rateb, let me clarify again: This is sold to non-Muslim people.

 Dr. Rateb: Put aside the meat that is not slaughtered according to the Islamic way, but are you asking me if it is fine to sell pork?

 The caller: Yes pork will be sold in this restaurant.

 Dr. Rateb: Sorry I can't give you fatwa for such a thing.

 The caller: You don't have fatwa?

 Interviewer: Is he forced to sell pork in the first place? I mean even non-Muslims stores sometimes don't sell pork! He may sell meat that is not slaughtered according to the Islam way, for example, but he has the option not to sell pork in his restaurant.

 Dr. Rateb: I don't have a fatwa that allow someone to sell something forbidden in Islam. Selling the meat that is not slaughtered according to Islam is not as serious and grave as selling pork.

 The caller: It means it is really serious, isn't that right Dr. Rateb? May Allah bless you.

 Interviewer: Dr. Rateb, this man has no excuse to sell pork because even non-Muslim Australian and the atheists don't sell pork. No one is obliged to sell pork. Does the rule on selling forbidden things is applied to selling cigarettes? Lots of Muslims put cigarettes for selling in a corner of their stores, where they sell besides cigarettes many different things such as vegetables and other things. Forbidding smoking is according to the general ruling not the specific one:
Dr. Rateb: Cigarettes are Haram according to "Ad-Daleel Al-'Aam" (general evidence) not according to "Ad-Daleel AlKhaas" ( specific evidence), Allah says:

﴾He allows them as lawful At-Taiyibat [(i.e. all good and lawful) as regards things, deeds, beliefs, persons, foods, etc.], and prohibits them as unlawful Al-Khaba'ith (i.e. all evil and unlawful as regards things, deeds, beliefs, persons, foods, etc.)﴿

[Al-A'raf, 157]

 Tobacco leaves contain 3000 toxic substances. I am an establishing member of the Counter-smoking Organization in Syria, so this is my domain. 3000 toxic substances are found in tobacco, which is a very scary fact. Philip Morris's company is gaining 112 million dollars daily from selling cigarettes to the Middle East. Do you know what really is going on? The worst kind of tobacco is sold to Muslims although they are wrapped luxuriously. We are so ignorant that we are crushed by our ignorance, for Arabs smoke more than any other people in the world.

 Interviewer: People in Saudi Arabia smoke cigarettes more than any other country.

The imported cigarettes are the worst kind in the world:

  Dr. Rateb: The imported tobacco is the worst kind, and tobacco companies make huge daily income, close to 112 million dollars out of that business, and one third of these profits go to Zionists.

 Interviewer: In a company in Australian horizons in the shopping center, there were a group of young men selling a cream made from the Dead Sea, and the manufacturing company is Israeli (in Palestine). One of those young men stopped me and he said to me, "Would you like to buy this cream, it is from Israel", I said, "No, I would not!", so he said, "Why? We are neighbors." We argued for a little while. Unfortunately, Muslim women with Hijab let this young man try this cream on their hands. Muslims sometimes overlook critical things, like buying commodities from Israeli companies. Not to mention, allowing a Jewish man hold their hands in order to apply the cream on it. I just wanted to make a comment, so please go on.
The well-known truth is that all tobacco leaves are soaked in wine:
  Dr. Rateb: The crystal clear fact is that the tobacco leaves are soaked in wine. Dr. Abdul Saboor Shaheen wrote a book about that after he visited America and made sure of this fact. When the ad repeats saying "Come to where the flavor is", they mean the flavor of wine in which the tobacco leaves are soaked even in Arab countries, and then they are dried and used in making cigarettes.

 Interviewer: What a way of manufacturing is this?

 Dr. Rateb: Actually, the wine factory is over the tobacco factory. Many years ago, some of the wine containers were broken and the wine leaked in the tobacco factory giving tobacco the flavor of wine, and making the cigarette market excellent. Pay attention to this fact, some Arab countries soak tobacco leaves in wine, so whoever smokes actually smokes the tobacco that is soaked in wine, and this fact is mentioned in the book of Dr. Abdul Saboor Shaheen.

 Interviewer: Do you mean that selling cigarettes brings Haram money even to the grocer who sells them?

 Dr. Rateb: Yes of course. Whatever is considered Haram as it is committed, then selling, buying and using it are Haram.

 Interviewer: We have another phone call… Assalamu Alaikum.

 The 4th caller: Assalamu Alaikum Hajah Rania, how are you?

 Interviewer: Alhamdulillah.

 The caller: I want to ask Dr. Rateb about Muslim butchers in this country. They write on their stores "Halal meat", but in fact we don't know if it is Halal or not.

We should be careful when we buy meat:

 Dr. Rateb: I was once in Switzerland, and I was stunned by a scandal about selling pork in one of the centers which was known for selling Halal meat in Switzerland. Some tests were done for the meat only to make people discover that it was pork. That center was selling people pork claiming to be "Halal meat" for more than 20 years. The butcher himself is the pig. This is unbelievable, so we should be careful because eating pork is a big problem.

 Interviewer: We are not saying that these butchers sell pork, but the meat they sell is doubted. Once I asked a Muslim butcher "Is this Halal meat?" He said, "I don't know", given lots of people buy meat from him, so I said to him again, "But your customers are all Muslims", to which he answered, "I bought the meat from someone from whom all Muslims buy their meat, but I do not know whether it is Halal or not?" In such a case how will I know if it is Halal or not?

The inimitability of Quran and the signs of the Noble Prophet's Prophethood:

  Dr. Rateb: Let me tell you this specific point: Man's heart is the pump on which his life depends, and the heart beats on its own without taking orders from any other part in the body due to its critical nature. Its mechanism is similar to the generator. For instance, if a very delicate open heart surgery is taking place in a hospital, but out of sudden there is power cut, the patient will die as his heart is replaced with an artificial one, and so every hospital uses a special power generator. The same goes for the heart; it has an independent electric center which gives the orders to the heart to beat 80 times per minute, and if this center stops working, there is a second backup system. If this stops working too, there is a third backup system. The heart then has three systems responsible for its beats. Patients usually use an artificial pacemaker which has a pulse generator for the heart if there is a malfunction in the heart's electrical system. The heart's electrical system orders the heart to beat 80 times per minute in the normal situations, but if someone is climbing the stairs, he needs 180 beats, and if he is running from an enemy, he needs 200 beats. In these exceptional situations the mechanism of the heart, according to which the heart rate increases, is very complicated.

 Let me elaborate on by giving you this example. If someone sees a snake while he is walking in a garden, what does happen to him? The image of the snake is printed on the retina, and the latter sends this image to the brain in the seeing areas where there is a file about snakes, so the brain reads in this file that this is a snake and it is dangerous. Then, the brain, which is the master of the nervous system, gives orders, or let us say it orders the queen of hormones glands (the pituitary gland), which in its turn sends a message to the suprarenal gland which is located above the kidney asking it to face this danger. The suprarenal gland in its turn gives orders to the heart to raise the rate of the heart to 180 beats per minute, it gives orders to the lungs to expand and it gives orders to the arteries to narrow their lumen. As a result, the scared person's heart beats will become 180, he will breathe quickly and his face will turn pale? Why does the face become pale? That is because of the narrowed lumen of the arteries, and the suprarenal gland gives orders to the liver to release extra sugar which reaches 200, while in the normal situation it is only 90. Also, it gives orders to have the thrombosis released, and all these orders are done in one second. What will happen after all that?

 All the butcheries in the world hang the animal from its legs and cut off its head, but in this case the heart keeps beating 80 times per minute which causes only quarter of the blood to come out of the animal and the rest is kept inside the body. This makes the meat blue, while slaughtering according to the Islamic way makes it pink. A friend of mine, is a catering employee in Syria, told me that when he went to China to buy meat, he asked them to slaughter it according to the Islamic way, but when they did so, they raised the price of the meat, because they lost 8 pounds in every animal slaughtered in this way.

 Interviewer: These pounds are lost from the weight?

 Dr. Rateb: Yes from the weight (of the animal). Hence, the illiterate Prophet, peace be upon him, who lived 1400 years ago asked us to keep the head of the animal instead of cutting it off, and we should only cut the carotid artery in the neck.

 Interviewer: From the artery.

 Dr. Rateb: Yes, and we keep the head hanged to the body. As long as it is hanged, the exceptional situation I described earlier takes place; orders are sent from the brain to the pituitary gland and to the suprarenal gland making the heart beat 180 times, making the lungs expand, making the liver release more sugar and thrombosis hormone and making the arteries narrow their lumen. All these five orders take place due to keeping the head hanged to the body, so the Prophetic order of cutting the arteries only and keeping the head of the animal make all the blood go out of the body.

 Interviewer: By that all the toxic substances go out with the blood from the animal body.

 Dr. Rateb: Absolutely, whereas in the western way of slaughtering the animal, the blood is kept in the body and only one tenth of it goes out.

 Interviewer: You scared us Dr. Rateb!

 Dr. Rateb: This is the reality.

 Interviewer: We sometimes buy meat and a while later it is soaked in its blood, does that mean that the blood which comes out is not Taher (pure)?

 Dr. Rateb: I am not talking about mentioning the name of Allah while slaughtering the animal, but I am talking about keeping the blood in it, and this is what concerns me.

 Interviewer: We ask the Almighty Allah that those butchers, who sell us meat, to do their job in good conscious to fear Allah when they sell meant to Muslims, for we don't know how to choose the Halal meat.

The connection between the Islamic law and its results is a scientific one:

  Dr. Rateb: There is a rule that says the relationship between the Islamic order and its results is a scientific one; a cause and effect relationship. How is that? If the father orders his children not use one of the doors of his house, which has two doors, and he punishes the one who uses it, we will notice that there is no scientific relationship between punishing the child and using the door as this door is designed to be used to get out of the house, but forbidding the children from using it has a specific ruling. On the other hand, if this son put his hand on a stove, the relationship between this act and its result is a scientific one; the hand will burn as a result of touching something hot, and this is a cause and effect relationship. Similarly, we should believe beyond doubt that all the commands and bans of the Quran and Sunnah have a scientific relationship with the effects (of violating them). If even an atheist applies Islam, he will reap the fruits of it in the worldly life, and if a Muslim doesn't apply Islam, he will lose on all levels, due to the objective methodology of Islam. This means the orders are ordained on us because of their good results and the prohibitions are forbidden because of their bad results.

 Interviewer: May Allah bless you. We have another phone call. Assalamu Alaikum

 The 5th caller: Assalamu Alaikum

 Interviewer: Wa Alaikum Assalam, please ask your question.

 The caller: I want to ask the following: If one of us raised his children rightly following the best ways within his scope, but he is afflicted with having one of them inclined from the right path and from the way he was brought up by his parents, and so the ties have been severed between the child and his father, what is the Islamic ruling in that regard?

 Dr. Rateb: Who started severing the ties?

 The caller: Only Allah knows.

 Dr. Rateb: Does the father severe the ties with his son first?

 The caller: I am not sure frankly, but all I know is that the ties between the father and the son have been severed, and there is no connection or communication between the two.

 Interviewer: Did that happen because the son inclined from the right path?

 The caller: Yes, this is what the father told me.

The Islamic ruling on severing the relationship between the father and son:

  Dr. Rateb: In my opinion, as a father I will lose my son for good if I severe all the ties with him, but keeping a connection through which I can advise him every now and then, might bring him back (to the right path). I disagree with those who sever their ties with their sons if they deviated from the right path.

 The caller: Dr. Rateb, may you excuse me: Where do the relatives of the family, who are trying to fix this relationship, stand? There are relative members around both of them and they are able to help fix the situation, but they are afraid of causing trouble, so what should they do? How can they act?

The relatives should participate in making the ties better:

 Dr. Rateb: I always say the following: Do your duties then ask Allah for your rights. I should do what I have to do with my son, such as looking after him, offering him whatever grants him happiness, dealing with him kindly, convincing him with the right thing to do and spending time with him every day. This is my duty towards my son. Allah addresses the Prophet, peace be upon him, saying:

﴾And you (O Muhammad, peace be upon him) are not a Wakil (guardian or a disposer of their affairs) over them (to protect their deeds, etc.).﴿

[Ash-Shura, 6]

 Interviewer: So the parents should pay all the efforts, and they will be rewarded by the Lord of the Worlds for that. Assalamu Alaikum.

 The 6th caller: Wa Alaikum Assalam

 Interviewer: Welcome dear brother.

 The caller: May Allah have peace on you and on Dr. Rateb.

 Dr. Rateb: Welcome.

 The caller: How are you Shaikh?

 Dr. Rateb: Very well, Alhamdulillah.

Islam should be concerned about in all its aspects:

  The caller: May Allah bless you and reward you. Your words are so valuable, but I want to draw your attentions to another aspect of this topic. We are all aware that the Islamic Ummah was ruled by its enemies for more than one century, and it is the same in this country. What concerns us is not only the Muslims who inclined away from the right path, but also the millions of Muslims' generations who believe in Islam, abide by it and pay tremendous efforts day and night for it (these are but Divine blessings), so our efforts should be focused on both parties (the religiously devoted and committed party and the deviated one).

 I know that an intensive effort should be paid on those who are driven away from the right path, and that will be a blessed effort. Not to mention that it is a duty upon all Muslims, but those who use to go to the Masjid regularly, and they care about the Ummah and Islam's concerns, have been neglected. I am afraid that no one looks after the youth all over the Islamic countries, and that they will be left in the open to the tyrants and the rulers who are slaughtering them. I am afraid that secularists (the followers of the West) take over the streets which are abandoned by the sincere scholars who did their best to encourage the Muslim youth to come to the Masajid regularly. Those scholars practically abandoned the youth after they set a practical example of scarifying the father, the son, the daughter, the wife, the money and the stance. I fear that they are left abandoned while we are focusing on one party of the Muslim youth (the deviated)

 Dr. Rateb: May Allah bless you.

 The caller: Let us leave the other party, but I hope that every person pay attention to this fact.

 Dr. Rateb: We should concentrate on all parties of Muslims.

 Interviewer: May Allah bless you for bringing this to our attention. We have another phone call.

 The 7th caller: Assalamu Alaikum

 Interviewer: Wa Alaikum Assalam.

 The caller: My greetings to you and to Dr. Rateb. Sister I have a lot of questions to you, but when I called you I went blank. My question is: Should the very old woman, whose husband died, observe Iddah (the period a woman must observe after the death of her spouse or after a divorce, during which she cannot remarry) and how? May Allah reward you.

The Iddah has nothing to do with the age:

  Dr. Rateb: Observing Iddah has nothing to do with the age of the woman. Iddah is grieving the deceased husband, and it shouldn't be waived under any condition, as it is not only related to Istibra' (to make sure that there is no fetus in a woman's womb). Therefore, it should be observed at any age by the woman.

 Interviewer: Some people believe that the woman who passed menopause is exempted from observing Iddah, such as the one who is 80 years old.

 Dr. Rateb: Not at all, Iddah has nothing to do with age; it is grieving the deceased husband and having no fetus in the wife's womb.

 Interviewer: Let us continue dear listeners this meeting with Dr. Muhammad Rateb Al Nabulsi. One of the sisters is asking about family planning, she said that she has children Alhamdulillah, but her husband wants more. She is afraid about not being able to raise them properly, which is a big responsibility. Can she follow family planning?

Family planning:

  Dr. Rateb: She can do whatever she wants, and what Allah decrees will happen. I have a friend in Damascus who followed the family planning for four years, and then because of one mistake he had got quadruplets!

 Interviewer: La Ilaha Illa Allah

 Dr. Rateb: So do what you want to do, and what Allah decrees will happen. Family planning is allowed on the family level but not on a country level. Take for example China, the government prevents any family to have a second child, and this is against Allah's Method.

 Interviewer: They are now facing lots of problems because of that law.

 Dr. Rateb: Of course

 Interviewer: Let us receive another phone call.

 The 8th Caller: Assalamu Alaikum

 Interviewer: Wa Alaikum Assalam

 The caller: How are you sister Rania?

 Interviewer: Very well, Alhamdulillah. Please, ask your question.

 The caller: Yes, Alhamdulillah. I would like to talk to Dr. Rateb and say to him that we admire him so much, and we appreciate what he the like of him of good Muslims do. I hope he can stay in Australia. May Allah grant triumph to the truth. I want to ask a simple question: A brother of mine doesn't want to talk to us no matter how much we tried to talk to him, but he doesn't want to. Are we blamed for that?

Avoid severing ties with the family members:

  Dr. Rateb: I don't support severing ties amongst the families no matter how much it costs to keep them connected.

 The caller: We tried hard Dr. Rateb!

 Dr. Rateb: Contact him once on Eid, or keep in touch with him by calling him from time to time only to say: "Salam brother", and nothing more, because I don't support broken kin ties.

 The caller: I should keep these ties at least by calling him from time to time.

 Dr. Rateb: Yes, if that is possible.

 The caller: May Allah bless you and keep bad people away from you.

 Dr. Rateb: You are welcome

 The caller: I hope to meet you insha' Allah.

 Dr. Rateb: Thank you.

 The caller: Assalamu Alaikum.

 Interviewer: Wa Alaikum Assalam wa Rahmatu Allah wa Barakatoh. We have another phone call. Assalamu Alaikum.

 The 9th caller: My question is: Since the tobacco leaves are soaked in wine, so are the Salah and Wudu of the smoker valid?

 Interviewer: Do you mean that his Wudu is nullified by smoking?
  The caller: Well, I am asking about the validity of his Salah, because he may stand at the door of the Masjid smoking while waiting for Salah, then he went in to perform Salah.

Smoking doesn't nullify Wudu:

  Dr. Rateb: No! Smoking doesn't nullify Wudu, and smoking is not among the well-known matters which nullify Wudu.
  The caller: I mean because you said that tobacco is soaked in wine, so you know what I mean?

 Interviewer: Yes, we have got your question.

 The caller: I will listen to the answer on the radio.

 Interviewer: You are welcome

 Dr. Rateb: Ma Shaa' Allah (That which Allah wills (will come to pass)

 Interviewer: Let us take another phone call.

 The 10th caller: Assalamu Alaikum Hajah

 Interviewer: Wa Alaikum Assalam

 The caller: Assalamu Alaikum dear Shaikh who is close to our hearts

 Dr. Rateb: Wa Alaikum As

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