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The rights of a family as a whole
Dear brother, the prophet PBUH addressed us in matters related to life, and his speech was described by Allah as follows:
﴾ Nor does he speak of (his own) desire. It is only an Inspiration that is inspired.﴿
The prophet PBUH in his Sunnah explained to us the Quran, thus any word said by the prophet PBUH is his understanding of the Quran according to Imam Al Shafi’ee who said: “The prophetic Sunnah is the prophet’s accurate understanding of the Quran.
Dear brother, in the prophetic Sunnah there are close to 20 As7adeth which address the rights among people, but before we read these As7adeth, we must know that there are rights between the married couples, for there is a right of the husband over his wife, there is a right of the wife over her husband, there is a right of the father over his son, there is a right of the son over his father, there is a right of the neighbor over his neighbor, there is a right of the brother over his brother, there is a right of the partner over his partner, there is a right of Allah over His servant which is to worship Him and there is a right of the servant of Allah granted to him by Allah and promised be fulfilled by Him.
The right of the husband on his wife:
The prophet PBUH talked about the rights of the husband starting with the husband’s sexual needs:
((The right a husband acquires over the wife is that she should not keep herself away from him [even] if they were on the back of a camel and he desired her and tried to take her. It is his right that she should not give away anything belonging to his house except by his permission; if she does so [without his permission], she will be guilty and he will get the reward. It is his right also that she should not fast voluntarily except by his permission; and if she fasts and goes hungry and thirsty, it will not be accepted of her If she goes out from his house without his permission, the angels curse her till she comes back to his house or repents even though he might be an oppressor))
This is the right of the husband over his wife decided by the prophet PBUH in the light of his understanding to the Quran, for Allah says:
﴾ But men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. ﴿
Allah also says:
﴾ Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great. ﴿
What is the precise interpretation of men’s degree over their wives? Allah’s words are very concise, clear and miraculous, Allah says:
﴾ Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means ﴿
If we were to explain, interpret, and make these concise words simple, we wouldn’t find more accurate words to explain them than the following prophetic Hadith about the right of the husband over his wife:
((The right a husband acquires over the wife is that she should not keep herself away from him [even] if they were on the back of a camel and he desired her and tried to take her. It is his right that she should not give away anything belonging to his house except by his permission; if she does so [without his permission], she will be guilty and he will get the reward. It is his right also that she should not fast voluntarily except by his permission; and if she fasts and goes hungry and thirsty, it will not be accepted of her. If she goes out from his house without his permission, the angels curse her till she comes back to his house or repents even though he might be an oppressor))
This is what is called “The rank system” which resembles the one in the army, for you can’t say to the soldier: “Think of the order given to you from above, and if you like it then carry it out and if you don’t then disobey it”
This won’t work in the army, and the same goes for the husband, for he is the person in the higher rank in the household and thus he should be obeyed.
Narrated Abu Hurairah, the prophet PBUH said:
((When your rulers will be the best men, and your rich men will be philanthropic amongst you, and your affairs will be done with consultation among yourselves, then your living on the surface of the earth will be better for you than its bottom. And when your rulers will be the worst of you and your rich men will be the misers among you, and your affairs will be in the hands of your women, then the bottom of the world will be better for you than its surface.))
Another right:
Tameem Ad-Dari narrated that the prophet PBUH said:
((It is a right for a man that his wife should avoid keeping away from his bed, and should act upon his promises))
Unfortunately, the majority of wives don’t keep the promises of their husbands just to tease them, but the pious believer woman who longs to please Allah and His messenger PBUH, should act upon her husband’s promises.
Tameem Ad-Dari narrated that the prophet PBUH said:
((It is a right for a man that his wife should avoid keeping away from his bed, should act upon his promises, should obey his orders, should avoid leaving his house without his permission, and should avoid inviting to his house those whom he dislikes.))
If the husband said: “I don’t like this family to enter my house”, in this case the wife should obey him and should not welcome them in his house and should not show them a delightful face because welcoming them in the house will upset her husband.
These are some of the rights of the husband over his wife.
The right of the wife on her husband:
Now what is the right of the wife over her husband?
It was narrated from Hakim bin Muawiyah, from his father, that:
((A man asked the Prophet PBUH: “What is the right of the woman over her husband?” He said: “That he should feed her as he feeds himself and clothe her as he clothes himself; he should not strike her on the face nor disfigure her, and he should not abandon her except in the house (as a form of discipline).”))
The husband who eats delicious food outside his house without thinking of bringing some of it to his wife is betraying the conjugal rights, for his wife is staying at home for his sake, therefore, they both should enjoy the pleasures of life together, and thus he should bring her from the same delicious food he eats.
The previous Hadith is outstanding in so many delicate sides: Firstly, since the husband should feed his wife from the same food he eats, this entails that in case he doesn’t do that, then he has no right upon her. Secondly, some husbands earn Haram (unlawful) money in order to feed their wives the food they long for, but this is the devil’s argument who says to the husband: “You have wife and children and thus you are obliged to take that money, and it is not your fault”, this is nonsense, for though it is true that the right of the wife over her husband is to feed her of the same food he eats, the wives of the companions set a good examples for other women when they said to their husbands:
((Fear Allah in our sustenance, for we are of your ilk, so if you are upright we will be upright, but if you are deviated we will be deviated))
What makes people earn Haram money? Their motivation is to please their wives and children and feed them the most delicious food and cloth them luxurious cloths in order to claim a classy social standing, and in order to do so they accept Haram money, but they forget that when man dies, his soul flutters over his coffin and it addresses the mourners by saying to them: “O my family and sons, don’t let worldly life deceive you as it did to me, for I collected money from lawful and unlawful sources and spent them in lawful and unlawful causes, but while you enjoy my wealth I will be punished for that earning”
Given the heirs’ money are lawful though they might come from unlawful ways by their fathers.
((That he should feed her as he feeds himself and clothe her as he clothes himself;))
If his income is not enough to buy new cloths, he should treat her as he treats himself.
As if the prophet PBUH realized the two big pressures (to meet the needs and to resort to unlawful money) under which the husbands fall down, and if you were in this situation you’d better refuse to disobey Allah:
((…he should not strike her on the face))
Your wife shares life with you, and the only degree you have over her is only one, and since this distance between you two is very small, hitting her won’t solve any problems, for she is your partner in life:
((…he should not strike her on the face nor disfigure her,))
Badmouthing wives is forbidden.
The one, who calls his wife names and badmouths her father and curses the hour when they met, does not deserve any respect.
The husband, who blasphemes his wife with harsh humiliating words which hurt wife’s dignity before her children, is not a believer.
The prophet PBUH said:
((…he should not strike her on the face nor disfigure her, and he should not abandon her except in the house (as a form of discipline).”))
The husband, who asks his wife to go to her folk’s house, is oppressing his own self and his wife and is opposing the prophetic Sunnah, because any conflict between the married couple ends few days later at home no matter how big it is, whereas the smallest disagreement between the two might lead to divorce if it is transferred outside the house.
Pay attention to the words of the prophet PBUH:
((…and he should not abandon her except in the house (as a form of discipline).”))
He has the right not to talk to her for a week or two while she is still in the house eating, drinking and all her needs are met, this is the right of the wife over her husband.
((A man asked the Prophet PBUH: “What is the right of the woman over her husband?” He said: “That he should feed her as he feeds himself and clothe her as he clothes himself; he should not strike her on the face nor disfigure her, and he should not abandon her except in the house (as a form of discipline).”))
The right of the son on his father:
What is the right of the son over his father?
His first right is to learn writing (education) which is a right granted for children, and this is the reason behind the compulsory education.
The second right is that the father should teach his son swimming, archery and to feed him from lawful means.
Hence the rights of the children are four over their fathers.
Other scholars added one more right which is mentioned in other As7adeth: Making a good choice in selecting the mother (his wife), and this right is claimed two years before this child is delivered, because this right mother, who grew in a good manner from a pious religious family, will raise the children to become religious, pious and she will feed them the love of Allah, the prophet PBUH and the love of knowledge, and thus this mother will deliver to the society good influential members.
Accordingly, the best license a woman can get is to turn her children into moral and pious members in the society who long to goodness.
Among the claims of a child on his father is to teach his son swimming, fighting and to feed him from lawful means.
Also children’s rights are mentioned in the following Hadith:
((Verily, among the claims of a child on his father is to teach him how to write, to choose him a good name and to take a wife for him when he reaches maturity.))
If the father is rich, he must help his son to get married lest the latter backslides in sins.
By Allah the only God, the results of adultery befall the parents before they befall the son, though every person will be paid that which he had earned of the sin. Hence the rich father must help his son financially in order to get married and spending in that cause is more valuable in the sight of Allah than spending on performing Hajj (after the obligatory Hajj).
If you have a believer young son who needs few thousands to get married and you own that money as a father and you already performed the obligatory Hajj, you should pay that money to him in order to prevent him from sinning.
Again, the son’s right over his father is to choose a good name for him and to help him get married when he reaches maturity and to teach him Quran.
Hence, teaching your son Quran is your duty towards your son.
Unfortunately, fathers these days are neglecting that and they teach their sons foreign languages instead, furthermore, they send them to western countries and allow them to live in a western family to enhance their language, and they forget that their sons are teen agers and they will pick up western manners, dissoluteness, corruption and Ikhtilat habits between females and males, thus this young teen might stay alone with some girls in order to learn their language, and the fathers forget that the prophet PBUH said:
((Verily, among the claims of a child on his father is to teach him how to write, to choose him a good name and to take a wife for him when he reaches maturity.))
Fathers should teach their sons all sorts of Quranic sciences starting with Tajweed (set of rules which dictate how the Qur'an should be read), reciting, reading, comprehending and ending with applying Quran, and all these senses are mentioned in the following Ayah:
﴾Those (who embraced Islam from Bani Israel) to whom We gave the Book [the Taurat (Torah)] [or those (Muhammad's Peace be upon him companions) to whom We have given the Book (the Qur'an)] reauthor it (i.e. obey its orders and follow its teachings) as it should be reauthord (i.e. followed), they are the ones that believe therein. And whoso disbelieves in it (the Qur'an), those are they who are the losers. ﴿
The right of the son over his father is to give him a good name and to put him in suitable places, namely, if he puts him in a job where there is corruption and dissoluteness and where he mingles with women, this might lead him unwillingly to fornication.
The father is only keen on the income he receives from his son though the environment of the job, he puts him in, might bring corruption to his son, might displease Allah and might deal with unlawful goods which are forbidden in Islam though they might bring big money.
Again, the son’s right over his father is to be given a good name, to be put in a suitable working place and to be raised with good manners.
It is reported that Sa’eed Bin Amr Bin Sa’eed Ibn Al Aas, by his father and by his grandfather (Sa’eed Ibn Al Aas) that the latter said:
((The oldest son holds a left over his younger siblings like the left of a father over his son))
When the father dies and leaves behind him old sons and young ones, the prophet PBUH instructed the following:
((The oldest son holds a left over his younger siblings like the left of a father over his son))
So that there will be discipline in the house.
((The oldest son holds a left over his younger siblings like the left of a father over his son))
This Hadith also indicates that since the younger sons are treating the oldest son as their father, the older son should in return be like a father to them, for he should be merciful, passionate and tender, besides observing their acts and disciplining them when it is needed.
The rights we should consider in dealing with our neighbors:
The prophet PBUH said:
((Do you know the rights of your neighbor upon you?))
Now we move from the family rights (the rights between the husband and wife and the father and son and that the son’s money belong to the father and that the oldest son should be respected by the younger one) to the rights of neighbors:
The prophet PBUH said:
((Do you know the rights of your neighbor upon you? If he asks you for help you help him; if he asks for your support you support him; if he asks for a loan you lend him; If he falls ill you visit (and take care of) him; if he dies you attend his funeral (and take part in the burial arrangements); if he is favored by good-fortune, you congratulate him; if a calamity befalls him, you grieve in sympathy with him; and that you avoid constructing your building higher than his, lest you should block up the wind blowing to his house; If you buy fruits send some to him and in case you don’t send him bring it home secretly and don’t let your son provokes his son by eating it in front of him, and further, (you take care that) the aroma of your cooking pot (Qitar) does not cause sorrow to him (and his children) except that you send some of it (the food) to him))
This is the right of the neighbor over his fellow neighbor.
It is an error that the parents send with their child a rare expensive fruit to school, because this child will eat this fruit in front of his friends who will yearn to this kind of fruit and they will nag upon going home and ask their fathers to bring the same fruit to them, while the father in this case might not afford it, and this definitely will break his heart.
The same goes for sending big sum of money with the child to school, for it is a big error to send stuff that is not affordable by other parents as this will cause family conflicts in the Muslims’ households.
((If you buy fruits send some to him and in case you don’t send him bring it home secretly and don’t let your son provokes his son by eating it in front of him, and further, (you take care that) the aroma of your cooking pot (Qitar) does not cause sorrow to him (and his children) except that you send some of it (the food) to him))
I was told that some western countries give the one, who cooks food that spreads lovely smell in the neighborhood, a fine because he is hurting them by that smell.
The prophet PBUH said in that respect:
((…(you take care that) the aroma of your cooking pot (Qitar) does not cause sorrow to him (and his children) except that you send some of it (the food) to him))
This is the right of the neighbor.
Now we move to the right of a Muslim on another Muslim, and in this case we move out of the entire neighborhood to talk about two Muslims who might meet in a street:
The right of the Muslim on another Muslim and people:
The right of a Muslim over another Muslim is mentioned in the following Hadith:
Narrated Abu Huraira, May Allah be pleased with him, he said: I heard the prophet PBUH saying:
((“A Muslim’s rights upon another Muslim are five: to answer As-Salam ( Muslim Salutation), to visit the sick, to answer invitation, to walk in funeral, to say ‘May Allah bless you’ upon sneezing”))
Answering As-Salam is Fard (obligation) whereas throwing As-Salam is Sunnah (optional).
Also one of the rights is to pay the sick Muslim a visit.
((A visitor walking to visit a sick person will be wading in the mercy of God. When the visitor sits with the sick one, they will be immersed in mercy until his or her return.))
(("When you visit a sick person, give him hope for a long life. This will not avert anything, but will please the patient and give him comfort."))
((Whoever visits a sick person let him remind him of the Almighty Allah))
He should also remind him of Allah’s Mercy, Wisdom and should tell him that this illness is decreed by The Almighty, The All-Knowing, The Ever-Wise, The All-Aware, The Ever-Affectionate and The Ever-Compassionate.
((“A Muslim’s rights upon another Muslim are five: to answer As-Salam ( Muslim Salutation), to visit the sick, to answer invitation, to walk in funeral, to say ‘May Allah bless you’ upon sneezing”))
Also among the rights of the Muslim over another Muslim is to give him advice, namely, if a Muslim (or a non-Muslim) comes to your shop and you deceive him, you will betray Allah and His messenger.
The prophet PBUH forbade you from deceiving a Muslim, thus he is more keen on forbidding you from deceiving the non-Muslim, why is that?
This is because when you deceive a Muslim you are hurting him, but when you deceive a non-Muslim, he will be hurt by your religion and accordingly, he will accuse it of inferiority and of being an immoral religion, therefore:
((“A Muslim’s rights upon another Muslim are five: to answer As-Salam ( Muslim Salutation), to visit the sick, to answer invitation, to walk in funeral, to say ‘May Allah bless you’ upon sneezing”))
((Jarir bin `Abdullah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I made my covenant with Messenger of Allah (PBUH) on the observance of Salat, payment of Zakat, giving counsel to Muslim and break up with the Mushrik.))
This extends to selling, buying and everything else.
The one, who is a real estate broker, should earn Halal money in selling people houses, and in case he lies (about a problem in the house’s structure or foundation), his money will be earned unlawfully unlike the case when he is honest with his clients and he strives to sell the house in order to earn his money lawfully.
Dear brother, call yourselves to account before you are called to do so and weigh your deeds before they are weighed, and you should know that the Angel of Death has been reaching sh3er and will reach us soon, so pay heed. The clever one is he who upbraids himself and works for what comes after death; and the weak one is he who follows his desires and lives on wishful thinking, and praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds
The second khutbah (Sermon):
The rights and duties of people:
Dear brother, can any one of you imagine that there is a right of the servants of Allah granted to them by Allah and promised to be fulfilled by Him.
The prophet PBUH said:
((It is a right upon Allah to help the one who marries to protect his chastity from the forbidden acts))
When a young man long to a woman unlawfully but he knows that this relation will displease Allah, and thus he tries to get married to a pious woman seeking abstinence, chastity and avoiding forbidden affairs, he should be helped in that cause and should be helped in buying a house to fulfill his desire lawfully.
I address the youth and ask them to stick to patience and to refrain from unlawful affairs in order to get the Halal blessed marriage.
The prophet PBUH said:
((No servant shall leave anything for the sake of Allah but will be compensated by Allah with what is better for him either in his worldly life or in the hereafter. ))
((Everything has a fixed term, so whoever wants things to happen fast before it’s right time will be punished by being deprived of it))
These are the words of Al Mustafa (i.e. Mohammad PBUH).
((It is a right upon Allah to help the one who marries because of protecting his chastity from the forbidden acts))
The chaste young man, who has no wealth, is rich actually because he has it all, for Allah is with him.
In order to be the richest man on earth, put your trust in that which is in Allah’s Hand more than putting your trust in that which is in your hand.
Whoever puts his trust in Allah, Allah will suffice him.
The right of Allah on every Muslim:
What is the right of Allah upon every Muslims?
Narrated Abu Huraira: I heard the prophet PBUH saying, (("We (Muslims) are the last (to come) but (will be) the foremost on the Day of Resurrection though the former nations were given the Holy Scriptures before us. And this was their day (Friday) the celebration of which was made compulsory for them but they differed about it. So Allah gave us the guidance for it (Friday) and all the other people are behind us in this respect: the Jews' (holy day is) tomorrow (i.e. Saturday) and the Christians' (is) the day after tomorrow (i.e. Sunday)." The Prophet (p.b.u.h) remained silent (for a while) and then said, '' ''It is Allah's right on every Muslim that he should take a bath (at least) once in seven days, when he should wash his head and body.''))
One should wash his body every week once at least, for maintaining your hygiene, body and appearance is a right of Allah upon you, because Allah honored you and raised your standing among his creations by making you the foremost creature, moreover, He blessed you with tasty food, Allah says:
﴾ And indeed We have honoured the Children of Adam, and We have carried them on land and sea, and have provided them with At-Taiyibat (lawful good things), and have preferred them above many of those whom We have created with a marked preference ﴿
Allah gives man a beautiful face, He perfects his creation and creates man of the best stature (mould), therefore neglecting your appearance and looking dirty and worn-out is an abuse to this perfect Divine creation.
((''It is Allah's right on every Muslim that he should take a bath (at least) once in seven days, when he should wash his head and body.''))
The prophet PBUH said:
((Perform Ghusl (major ritual bath) even with A modd (measure of volume is usually equated with 4 liters) for one Dinar))
So what if the 1 cubic meter costs only half Lira?
((Perform Ghusl (major ritual bath) even with A modd (measure of volume is usually equated with 4 liters) for one Dinar))
The right of the self on man:
Did you ever give a thought to having a right of your own self over you? So what is that right?
The self’s right is to make it acquainted with The Almighty Allah. How does man oppress himself? He does that when he keeps himself ignorant.
This is the right of your own self over you.
The prophet PBUH said:
((Proper it is for man to have time spent alone with his Lord in which he remembers his sins and asks Allah to forgive them for him))
Fulfilling the right of your own self is accomplished by offering Fajr in a congregation in Masjid, by doing your laudation at home or in Masjid, by glorifying Allah, by praising Him, by pondering over Allah’s signs and by reading His book.
The one, who sits with the Almighty Allah before sunrise and remember Him, is protected by Allah the rest of the day, is under His care all day long, is included in Allah’s prosper and is under Allah’s providence.
Allah says:
﴾ for verily, you are under Our Eyes ﴿
((Proper it is for man to have time spent alone with his Lord in which he remembers his sins and asks Allah to forgive them for him))
These are some of the prophetic Ahaeeth which talk about the right of the husband over his wife, the right of the wife over her husband, the right of the son over his father, the right of the father over his son, the right of the big brother over his younger siblings, the right of the neighbor, the right of the Muslim, the right of Allah upon the Muslim, the right of the Muslim granted to Him by Allah and promised to be fulfilled by Him, and the right of the self over its owner.
Supplication:
We beseech you Allah to show us the way of rightness, together with those to whom You have showed it; and give us good health, together with those whom You have healed; and be our Protector, together with those for whom You have become their Protector; and bless us in what You have bestowed on us and save us from the afflictions that You have decreed, for You rule with justice and You are never judged. He whom You protect shall never be humiliated and he whom You make enemy shall never be exalted. Blessed and dignified are You, and we thank You for what You have decreed.
We seek your forgiveness and we repent our bad deeds, O, Allah guide us to perform a good deed in order to draw closer to you.
O, Allah, give us and don’t withdraw from us, degnify us and don’t humiliate us, choose us and don’t turn away from us, please us and be pleased with us.
O Allah, apportion to us such fear as should serve as a barrier between us and acts of disobedience; and such obedience as will take us to Your Jannah; and such as will make easy for us to bear in the calamities of this world. O Allah! let us enjoy our hearing, our sight and our power as long as You keep us alive and make our heirs from our own offspring, and make our revenge restricted to those who oppress us, and support us against those who are hostile to us let no misfortune afflict our Deen; let not worldly affairs be our principal concern, or the ultimate limit of our knowledge, and let not those rule over us who do not show mercy to us.
O Allah, make us do well in the Deen, which is our dignity, make us do well in our worldly life, in which we dwell and grant us safety on the Day of Judgment for it is our Final Destination. O Allah, please supply our life with all good things and make our death a rest from every evil.
O our Master, the Lord of all Worlds, please make us desire what You have made lawful and reject what You have made unlawful, make us by Your benevolence independent of all sh3er and make our obedience to You turn us away from our disobedience.
O, Allah, let us watch out of being secured of your plans Don’t unveil your shield on us, or make us forget your dhikr (remembrance of Allah) O Lord or worlds.
O Allah, cover our defects, grant us security, let us feel safe in our countries, and make this country and the rest of the Islamic states secured, prosper and full of bounties.
O Allah we seek refuge with you from fearing anyone else but You, from lowering ourselves before anyone save You, from an intractable disease, from enemies who glee at our misfortune and from withholding after bestowing”, Mawlana Lord of worlds, and when You have given the people of the world the pleasures of their world, make the coolness of my eyes (pleasure) in worshipping You, O Lord of worlds.
O Allah, guard our dignity by affluence and don’t make us lose our dignity because of poverty lest we resort to the worst of your creations, praise those who gave us and dispraise those who withheld from us, while You are above them all and you are the All-Giving, and to You belong the treasures of the heavens and the earth.
O Allah, when You have given the people of the world the pleasures of their world, make the coolness of my eyes (pleasure) in worshipping You, O Lord of worlds.
O Allah, by Your Mercy and Benevolence, raise high the word of truth and this Deen, grant triumph to Islam, dignify Muslims, humiliate polytheism and polytheists and lead the rulers of Muslims to what pleases You, O Lord of the Worlds, as You are the only One Who is capable over His decreed.
